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THIRTEEN ZOMG THIRTEEN

Dear Thirteen,

You are so amazingly beautiful and strong that I can't decided whether I want to be you or want to sleep with you.   Anguish with a side of self-destruction is a good look on you.  Which might explain why I can't keep my eyes off of you.

Also: please stop turning me lesbian.  My boyfriend is getting jealous. 

Love,

Me

NOTFLAIL, NOTFLAIL AT ALL.


RICHARD.  OH RICHARD.

I mean, at least the title didn't go to someone completely undeserving, but

RICHARD.

My heart breaks just from imagining his dejected, dazed look...

*whimpers*

I don't think I've ever gotten so attached to a reality TV show contestant, ever.

It hurts.  It actually hurts.

FLAIL. FLAILFLAILFLAIL.


Richard Blais and his wife, Jazmin, welcomed their daughter Riley Maddox Blais on May 29, 2008.

The pictures make me go d'aww.

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May. 26th, 2008

Oh grad blurbs, you are absolutely killing me.  Three different versions and each worse and sappier than the last and - how the fuck do you sum up the most three incredble years of your life in 400 characters (including spaces, as MH pointed out, the sadistic bastard)?

I am three commas away from writing the whole thing in LOLCATspeak, and it wouldn't be pretty, like, at all.

It would go something like this:

OH HAI, AWSEM THREE YERS RITE?  LOTS OF LOLZ AND MEMZ BTWEN GUD FRENDZ, Y/Y? NYWAY, WISH U AL TEH BEST IN UR FUTER INDEVERS (EXCEP TEH GAIZ WHO TRYD TO RUIN MAI LYFE, U NO HOO U R).  OK, BAI.

BY CXZ, AGE UNDERAGE

Just to reiterate, not pretty.

Although I'm pretty sure Bevin would enjoy it.

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TOP CHEF

To my potty-mouth, trash talking, crotch-grabbin', locker-punchin', condescending, elitist, arrogant, but oh-so-talented cheftestant :

You were awesome, every step of the fucking way.  The whole loner act is a bit overdone, not to mention all that anger, SHEESH.  But I totally understood where you (and your frustration) came from, what with the teammates that sucked ass week after week and always getting stuck on the losing team and whatnot (even though your dishes were the best of them all).

Wish you all the best, Dale Talde.

Me.

--

My dream of another Richard/Dale team is dashed T_T and, in retrospect, Top Chef has really stopped being fair.  I mean, letting the winner of the QF challenge choose her teammates in the elim round?  The other guys didn't stand a chance.

Dream Team (TM) = Stephanie, Richard, Antonia.  Dear god please let them be in the final three, even though Richard won't win because the producers are going to fix it so that there will finally be a female Top Chef after 4 seasons.

Also, have I mentioned lately how awesome Richard is?  Because he totally is.  Mind-blowingly classy and gentlemanly and dorky and I loves him so much <3333

To demonstrate:

"...I believe Dale picked to be on my team, and that's just a huge compliment, just like last week when a few chefs chose rather quickly to work with me. What an honor ... That made me really want to push, so that no one on my team would go home, and prove that it's a good call to work with me .... Take one step towards me, and I'll take two towards you."

IF THAT'S NOT TOP CHEF MATERIAL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS.

So now I have to check spoilers on Bravo every Wednesday (obsessively, literally hitting refresh every three minutes) to see if he has been eliminated in some freak judging table decision.  You know, just in case he is, because I CAN'T WATCH HIM GET ELIMINATED - IT WILL BE HEARTBREAKING AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO HEAR MY SOBS IN HALIFAX.

Therefore, Richard, stop making me love you so much.  It's time consuming and tiring and stressful, and I'm not sure I can take any more of your awesomeness.  Seriously, you even make pink crocs sexy (in a dorky, "d'aww, how cute" sort of way).

HOW THE BIO IB EXAM REALLY WENT DOWN:
ikui: Fucking Kreb's cycle.  And photosynthesis, like, what the hell?  God, if there's a question on it...
lilithseraphim: Make it up.  BS it with obscure terms.
ikui: No, maybe we should write them gay porn instead.
lilithseraphim: Wait!  Yes!  And they'll like it too, because it would be way more interesting than the actual answer.
Jon: Or you can hide the real answer in the porn.  It would be educational.
ikui: Yeah, and somehow you can have Ianto talk about photosynthesis amongst the sex.
lilithseraphim: Not that hard to work it in, considering he knows everything.
lilithseraphim: Or, or or or, we can write MPREG.  It would fit.
ikui: I think I read a whole manga about that once...

Now I have a terrible craving for some morally dubious Jack/Ianto school fic.

Also: Kreb/Calvin = OTP y/y?  I bet Calvin would top.

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Konflikt


Ianto/Gwen, I DO NOT SHIP YOU.

Except for the part where I, you know, do.


*Groans in utter shame*

This is as crack!pairing as it gets, and not to mention is the fast-track to becoming tar-and-feathered in the fandom.

Jack/Ianto, I wish I could ship you and be faithful to you, but I have a designated bicycle in every fandom and, fact is, Ianto is it.  Sorry.
Richard Blais = class.  Class, class, class.

Take some notes, Dale.

Although I wonder, if Richard gave his win to Stephanie, who really won?  Is it a co-win?  Or does everything (the bragging rights and the prize) go to Stephanie?

Nikki is gone! \o/  Now all we need is Spike to go, and maybe Lisa.  But mostly Spike.  Because, dude, misogynist much?

That is all.

---

Also, I had a dream last night where I kissed some faceless guy and he died right after.  I am find this troublesome.

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How Torchwood RUINED me

Imagine: you are to be writing three essays in two and a half hours for the IB History HL exam.

In the middle of describing Cavour and Garibaldi and their passion for each other the unification of Italy, you glance over at your blue IB sheet.



International Baccalaureate,
it says
Peterson House, Malthouse Avenue
Cardiff Gate
Cardiff, Wales

And you immediately think "OMFG that's where Jack and Ianto have amazingly innovative hot gay sex in a sculpture!"  and gets distracted for the next five minutes thinking inappropriate thoughts about greenhouses and GDL's sexy clavicles.

Facepalm, self, facepalm.

But, hey, if ikui gets to link the Rentenmark to a character from an anime (Eureka Seven, was it?) then I get to damn well link IB to gay sex.

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Word of the Day


Desperation (n.)



It's the perfect fodder for social commentary.  Can you imagine the number of essay topics this can spawn? The social state of China,  China's economic woes,  the value of money, freedom, etc.

And that's not even delving into the exploitation of women.  Or the supposed "sanctity" of marriage.

But really?  I'm just grateful I won't have to resort to that.

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